Scattered Through The Pages

Looking through my own journals I’m overcome with waves of emotion from the last few years. Hate, love, sorrow, hope and exhaustion plagued the workings of my mind so forcefully and so thoroughly. I feel so much in such a little slice of time that I find myself nearing the self destruct button over and over and over again.

Let’s be honest, some of the entries here, let alone my personal journal frustrate me in their lack of or over absorption of depth. That’s okay though. It’s personal growth. Inner evolution, if you will. I can accept my useless blabber because I understand it differently.

I remember feeling so incredibly down for such a long period of time that I just could not take it. I suffered horribly and mostly silently. It was only through half suppressed tears and scribbles on paper that it showed. If my journals could talk they would probably tell you that my words simply screamed ‘help me’ across each and every page.

Like i said though, it wasn’t all bad. I had moments of hype, moments of absolute bliss. They inevitably came crashing down harshly around me, but they were there.

I’m not sure why I’m saying any of this, or if any of you care, but I just felt like I needed to. I needed to get a few thoughts out there.

 

Angelina Rosa, writing diligently for you, Writingdilegently

To That Shady Girl

There we stood: Face to face on that date

Ready to launch attack in this debate.

I had my pros while you felt your cons.

We both tied poems to the facts we lit,

And to catch fire to the words you spit,

You pulled from quotes with power but no relevance,

And so I looked poorly towards your deliverance.

You see, from my mouth flows words not stolen from another

And from that alone you should call me mother-

Goose.

For, when its needed, I can catch a rhyme

And call my quote all mine every time.

 

– Angelina Rosa

Diligently Writing for you, WritingDilegently

Showing Myself: Entry 6

I think about people as individuals not groups. We all have our own things and our own experiences to bring to the table. Your age shouldn’t decide how much you are a participant in deciding things for yourself and the rest of the world. Teenagers should vote because we are the ones who will have to deal with these rulers longer. We should make choices for ourselves within reason because we ARE people too. The ratings on movies are backwards because people have forgotten that the world isn’t rated pg. If we were taught what’s real from the beginning, we wouldn’t be so lost now.

Diligently writing for you, Writingdilegently, Angelina Rosa

Running on sad

It like all these kids decided to stop listening to their minds, stopped searching for their souls, and have a tiredness that sleep can’t shed. I see all these painted smiles and pulled up hoddies. I hear silent calls for attention but no words to call to action. I smell sweat and pot and desperation. I feel the aches, the pains, the wallows and moans. Like they are showing the world that they feel defeated and the world doesn’t know how to get them to start trying.

-Writingdilegently

So scared of zombies

So many fears of rotting things rising
Walking one with man
And tearing them apart.
But I’ll tell you right now
The zombies are not to be feared
They don’t bite or scream
But hell do they groan and infect
Zombification is not a physical thing
Its a mental thing
Being dead inside but still wandering
Doing things without the umph
Without the yearning to actually do.
I’m a human surrounded by them now
And if my words cease to please me…
I’ll be one of them too I fear.

Dream

I dreamt of you last night
Except you weren’t you
And I wasn’t me
But it was so real
Yet so far off
So much love
But so much hate
Like your mind was far off
And I got what I wanted
But it wasn’t what I needed

Then I awoke
And remembered the lack of calls
The lack of care

I prefer the you I dreamt of last night

– Writingdilegently

Two ends

I am split between two ends of the earth.
one that is vital to me
and then one that is vital to another.
At one end I give my good faith
I’ll give you love
I will take the time out of my placement to do what it is you wish for me to do. At the other end
you have greedy
and selfish claims.
The middle ground is what is necessary for us to
evaluate our lives at a reasonable standard.
Too far to the first,
and you realize that you will drive yourself mad.
Too far to the second,
and you will come to see
that there is no one willing to
trust or work with you.

– Writingdilegently

You must look professional

You must look
Ready to be on the book
Be on your very best
Shirts button downed and pressed

The professional way
Must be better than okay
Slacks zipped
Better have not ripped

But wait
I don’t want to work nine to eight
Let’s get a cape
To give that word a better shape

Describe them as working white collar
Nothing close to a bawler
Wearing a suit
Trying to shy from cute

Professional
How you define it makes me skeptical
Go to Google you’ll get the real fill
Someone who has complete knowledge or skill

So do not look down on me
For swapping those slacks for jeans
Or choosing a jumper
Instead of a suit
Or my colleagues
For having their skin colored in
Or their ear lobes long.
We dress for the jobs we want
Not the ones you expects us to get

– Writingdilegently

Goodbye for now?

You never gave me the chance
To say goodbye
To tell you how I feel
Or give you a last word

If you had let me
I would tell you the facts
That’s I’d always love you
But that I understand
That our paths are different
I’d tell you to be happy
And make the choices that make you

Its harder to not say that
To just be dropped off the boat
To have lost all connection.
So I’m saying here,
Because maybe one day you’ll see it.
Goodbye.

Goodbye
For now
And maybe forever
I’m leaving that last choice
Up to you

– Writingdilegently